Thursday, April 24, 2008

Baby Steps

I woke up Monday morning asking, “Why? Why am I doing what I am doing? Is it making any difference? It’s all just getting monotonous and boring. And, I am really tired. And, again, is any of it really making a difference”. Now, I may have just had a really bad case of “The Mondays” (Office Space reference, anyone?). I may just be really tired. Or, I may just be going through “end of the semester stress/blues” (still happens for me even though I am not in school anymore. It may come from spending so much time with college students).

I just got an email from one of those college students expressing some of the same feelings. I think I am just going through a “season” of the year. I think she is going through a “season” of life (I have been there done that once or twice).

Anyway, my quiet time (and journaling time with the other pastors) was spent in I Kings 19. It’s amazing that this Scripture had been picked for that day over six months ago! This text is about Elijah and it basically starts with Elijah saying, “I have had enough Lord!” God had just done some amazing things through Elijah, a “mountaintop experience”, and now there are people that want to kill him. Elijah is overwhelmed. He is tired. Tired of being brave and courageous and tired of being cowardly and running for his life. I am not sure how seriously to take Elijah’s pleading with God to “take my life”. Is he really ready to die here or is he saying this as a figure of speech like we do sometimes. I am not really sure, all I know is he says this and then lays down for a nap.

Elijah wakes up to an angel “tapping” him and telling him to “get up and eat”. Now, this is kind of funny to me because Elijah wakes up to find a cake of bread sitting next to him. How appropriate that Elijah is depressed and God knows that when we are depressed the thing we need more than anything else is cake! I wonder if Elijah requested some Ben and Jerry’s as well?

Here is the cool thing about Elijah, he does what the angel tells him! He doesn’t complain to the angel (as tired and frustrated as he may be). Instead, he takes a small simple step of obedience. Is Elijah going to save the world with that step of obedience? No. Will that one step save all his problems? No. So, when Elijah is done eating he goes right back to sleep.

Then he is awakened again to an angel telling him, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” Again, Elijah takes that first easy step of obedience and is then strengthened to take the next step of travelling for forty days and forty nights (forty tells us God is probably preparing him for something pretty cool).

Elijah arrives at mount Horeb and there God meets him in a quiet whisper and tells Elijah that he is to begin passing on his ministry to Elisha.

I can’t say that reading this story has made me feel completely refreshed and refocused! In fact, I stared, tired, at my computer for a long time before writing. I have learned a couple of things. First, God is interested in us taking the next small step of obedience. Saving the world is ultimately up to him, I am just glad to play a part in it.

Second, if I don’t take that first small step I may not arrive at the place of refreshment. Nor will I find what God’s purpose or plan is. What if Elijah had just decided to sleep and “live” in his depression asking God “why?” or “what’s the point?” instead of being obedient? It is not always for us to know the big picture. This is why faith, hope and trust are so important.

Third, God’s faithfulness must be our constant (a bit of a Lost reference here). If we are our constant, we will find ourselves emptied and lost at times and have no where to turn. If our constant is our friends we will find them to be as imperfect as we are ourselves. And, if our constant is our circumstances we will find that we can go from those “mountaintop experiences” to the valleys in a matter of days. God’s faithfulness may look bleak at times, but that doesn’t mean it is bleak it just means that we aren’t able to see it as clearly.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

What does it mean to follow the LORD completely?

We have been working through the book of 1 Kings on Sunday mornings. I have enjoyed studying this book far more than I thought I would. To be honest, much of the book would make great material for a reality show on VH1. Not too far from Hogan Knows Best or Meet the Kardashians (I promise I have not seen either of those shows, but I don’t expect you to believe me).

Anyway, we started by studying David and his sexual struggles and then moved on to Solomon (the Message says “King Solomon was obsessed with women”) and then Rehoboam. I have really been challenged by a description of Solomon that is also repeated about Rehoboam. The Bible says, “Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.” This statement has caused some difficulty for me. You see, in my mind David could not have followed the Lord completely if he slept with Bathsheba (not his wife) and then had her husband killed to cover it up. How could someone screw up this badly and still be considered someone who followed the LORD completely?

What I am learning is that my understanding of grace and justice does not line up with the Biblical account. One way to reconcile this is to determine that the writer of the Biblical text has made a mistake or lapse of judgment (of course, I have to believe that this mistake happened twice). However, there is another way to address this problem and that is to consider that my understanding of grace is too small. The difference between Solomon and Rehoboam and David is that David is repentant of his actions (even if he is slow to get there). In Psalm 51 we learn of David’s brokenness and remorse. He confesses his sin to God and cries out to God asking that God would create in him a clean heart.

According to the description of David in the accounts of Solomon and Rehoboam God does just that! Now, I understand that God forgives us when we repent (I John 1:9). But, according to the accounts of David, God doesn’t just forgive us but sees us as righteous!! Of course, I have heard this but for some reason David’s story makes it so much more real to me. Somehow this understanding of grace leads me to believe that I am more than a sinner saved by grace! I might somehow be considered by God to be a person that “followed the LORD completely” despite my screw ups (of course this is because of God’s grace). How freeing that is for me!!!

Look, we all screw up. And most of us have some understanding of grace and what it means to be forgiven but, my guess is, that far too often our understanding of God’s grace falls way short. We are too often blinded by our own sense of justice. I wonder if David considered himself to be someone that followed the LORD completely?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Confessions of a Deacon

One of my clergy friends in Oklahoma posted on his blog in response to a blog posting of one of my seminary friends now living in Texas. I began to comment on his blog, but realized I had a post. Trying to follow blog manners I am posting my response here instead.

To start, read Matt's post here.

Here is my response.

Matt, have enjoyed your blog. I have wanted to comment many times, but have been afraid to come off as cynical or jaded. I hope I am neither of these, while still owning the fact that I am frustrated with much of the antiquated policy of the UM church.

Anyway, I know that my decision to go the deacon route had everything to do with my lack of faith in the appointment process. Now, some of this can be chalked up to call (I don't have a need to be the lead guy) but the appointment process was certainly a pivotal factor. I feel called to serve the younger generations that have been consistently overlooked by the church (and that trend seems to be growing rather than getting better if we believe the stats). I suspect that if I were part of the appointment process my call would be less important than serving the "greater good of the conference" (every time I hear this it makes me want to puke. I believe this "greater good" is one of the reasons local churches are dying).

Anyway, as I read your blog and others (including the writings of Bishop Willimon and Schnase) I can't help but think there is a growing movement to address these issues and questions. General Conference 2008, I think, will set the table (unless it is consumed by less important things) and 2012 General Conference will have to address the questions. At least the dialog is happening!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

It's Sunday, but Monday's Coming

This past Sunday (it was Easter for those of you not paying attention) I spent some time reflecting on how much I enjoy Easter celebrations. I enjoy worship more on Easter Sunday than any other Sunday. My perspective is different. I tend to live with the resurrection at the forefront of my mind. As I was reflecting on this, I thought about how sad it is that I don’t live with this perspective everyday. Immediately I remembered a powerful sermon called “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s Coming” (check it out here if you have never seen it before).

Someone shared with me earlier in the week the difference between being affected by the resurrection and being infected by the resurrection. This is what was written, “To be affected, means that you have heard of the resurrection, and it has may have had an affect in your life, but it did not stick around long enough to make a real difference or a permanent impact. To be infected, is to have a permanent and constant change, one that many other, if not all other, decisions are affected by.”

As I reflected on these things I wrote the following:

It’s Easter Sunday and I am living in the grace offered by Jesus
But, Monday is coming and I will judge myself based on my ability to adhere to a list of rules

It’s Easter Sunday and I live with immense hope
But, Monday is coming and I will live a defeated life

It’s Easter Sunday I eat, drink and am merry because death has died
But, Monday is coming and I will eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you die

It’s Easter Sunday and I share with other believers in the celebration of the defeat of sin and death
But, Monday is coming and I will point the finger at the sinful actions of other believers

It’s Easter Sunday and I recognize that Jesus died and was resurrected for the sins of all people
But Monday is coming and I will be a Romans chapter 2 person judging Romans chapter 1 people

It’s Easter Sunday and I boast only in the cross
But, Monday is coming and I willboast in the things I have done, or I live in condemnation of my failures

It’s Easter Sunday and my pursuit of Christ-likeness is a pursuit of righteousness that I can’t earn on my own
But, Monday is coming and my pursuit of Christ-likeness will merely be a pursuit of morality that I pursue on my own

It’s Easter Sunday and I groan as I watch the world news out of compassion
But, Monday is coming and I will groan and grumble at the world news with contempt and judgment

It’s Easter Sunday and I have a broad, open and far reaching view of life
But, Monday is coming and I will have a narrow-minded short sighted view of life

It’s Easter Sunday and I have an eternal perspective causing me to be gracious and generous
But, Monday is coming and I will have a temporal perspective, so I better get mine while I can

It’s Easter Sunday and I am humbled that Jesus finds me worthy
But Monday is coming and in my false sense of pride I judge myself and others based on my imperfect notions of worth and value

It’s Easter Sunday and I have compassion for non-believers because they don’t know
But, Monday is coming and I will condemn non-believers for what they don’t know, and how they live as a result of that

It’s Easter Sunday and I believe Jesus was divine and died because of his love
But, Monday is coming and will live like Jesus was a hero that died for those who deserve to live

It’s Easter Sunday and I own my mistakes because I am convinced God is good
But Monday is coming and I will try to cover up my mistakes and plead my case with others so they will be convinced I am good

It’s Easter Sunday and I rejoice in the wisdom of the cross and Christ’s obedience to it
But, Monday is coming and the cross will look foolish to me and I will have no desire to share in it’s sufferings

It’s Easter Sunday and I would die to save others
But, Monday is coming and I will live to condemn others

It’s Easter Sunday and I pursue Christ in downward mobility in order that God might raise me up
But, Monday is coming and I will pursue my own dreams of upward mobility only to fall in defeat

It’s Sunday and we celebrate the event of Jesus’ resurrection
And Monday’s coming when we get to live in the truth of Grace and new life of the resurrection!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

U2/3D missing the 4thD


Just over a week ago I took my wife to see U23D. I have seen U2 in concert twice. Once before my wife and I were married, and then a second time after we were married. If you have seen U2 in concert, you know that they don't just put on a show they put together an experience. You also know that if you haven't experienced the band live, you don't really know U2. I am a huge U2 fan. Its to the point of embarrassment. My wife calls Bono "Uncle Bono". Ever since I got back from the second concert I have wanted so badly to see U2 live with my wife. When I heard about U23D last spring, I thought "this is my chance" (at the time, I thought it might be my last chance . . . but there are strong rumors of a new album in October, which means a new tour!).

I gotta tell you, the experience of U23D is incredible! The sound system of the IMAX theater is great (its not live, but it is great). The 3D technology was actually more impressive to me than the bands performance (and that is not to take anything away from the band). The best part of the 3D is that it is not over done. If you have not seen U2 live and you like their music or you have a friend that does, you must go see this movie! The ticket price is $10.50 and is well worth it (its cheaper than the $50 I "invested" when I saw them live; I would have paid $100, but don't tell them that).

Having said that, I should mention that this movie is missing the 4th D. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. As I sat through the first song of U23D I immediatly found myself wanting to sing (or scream) along with the music. If I had, I would have been the only one. As real as the 3D made the experience seem, I had to work at first to not join in with the crowd that was jumping off the screen. A U2 concert is a communal thing, a U2 concert film is not. A U2 concert demands active participation, a U2 concert film forbids it. At the same time, the film allowed a perspective of a U2 concert that I would never get in person. The viewer is invited on stage with the band; we have the best seat in the house. We fix eyes with Bono, the Edge, Adam and Larry. At one point Bono wipes the tears from our eyes. For Steph this was really cool. For me, I couldn't get past not actively being there (probably unique to someone that has "been there").

Here is the thing . . . I would highly recommend this movie if you like an arena-rock-show even if you aren't U2's biggest fan. The 3D is absolutely incredible (not cheesy at all). I am not sure how long the run will last, so don't wait too long.

See you on the next tour! Maybe they will make a stop in Tulsa and redeem the BOK Arena from the Celine Dion Concert (if only!).

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Philemon's End

We have been studying Paul’s letter to Philemon the last couple of weeks at Asbury on Sunday mornings and in our daily Scripture reading. This is a very short letter that often gets ignored. I have rarely heard it preached or taught and when I have it has always been taught as a letter about community and conflict. These themes certainly show up (along with the issue of slavery), but they are certainly not what the letter is about. For me, the letter is about forgiveness. Forgiveness goes far beyond confrontation, conflict and conflict resolution.

Until last week, I have always understood the letter of Philemon as being simply about a specific situation that merited a call to forgive. This has always been a story about Paul, Philemon and Onesimus. Then last week I began to see something much deeper in the story. The story between Onesimus and Philemon began to reflect my relationship with Christ. You see, Onesimus was a runaway slave of Philemon’s. There is a good chance that Onesimus stole money from Philemon before running away. Onesimus meets Paul (who is in jail at the time) and becomes a Christian. Paul sends Onesimus back to Philemon in order that Onesimus might pursue reconciliation. Now, in those times Philemon has every right, under the law, to demand that Onesimus repay what was stolen. In addition to this, Onesimus would also owe Philemon the rest of his life. Philemon would be righteous, under the law, to demand this. However, Paul urges Philemon to be reconciled with Onesimus, not as slave and slave owner but as brothers in Christ. When I read Paul’s words “again, for the first time” I immediately thought of Jesus words in John 15:15 when he said, “I no longer call you servants/slaves, I have called you friends”. I also thought about the story of the Prodigal Son. The Prodigal Son, after taking his inheritance from his father and running away, returns to his father willing to beg to return as a servant. In the story of the Prodigal Son we know the ending . . . the father accepts the prodigal as his son, not just a servant and is overjoyed to do so. One of the most beautiful things about the letter of Philemon is that we don’t get the ending to the story. This may frustrate some, but not me. This is an open ended story that begs for a conclusion and in doing so invites us in. How do we conclude this story in our own lives?

My first thought is, “Does Philemon forgive Onesimus? And if so is he reconciled as a slave or as a brother?” Philemon would be righteous in the eye of the law not to forgive Philemon, but as a follower of Christ he is called to a higher standard. Now, to forgive Onesimus would be one thing, but to forgive him and to accept him as a brother would be “other worldly”, which is the point. So, who is it that owes me? My parents? My wife? My brother? My sister? The church? And, am I willing to forgive them and be reconciled with them? Am I going to live to be righteous in the eyes of the law or am I going to strive to be righteous according to the standard set by Christ? The beautiful thing about the story of the Prodigal Son isn’t the forgiveness the prodigal receives (although we are all dependent on that), it is the reconciliation the father in the story offers. The point isn’t that we would be the prodigal, but that we would be the father.

My second thought is, “If Philemon offered reconciliation as a brother, would Onesimus be able to accept it?” Onesimus has probably always known life as a slave. He knows how to live as a slave and now knows that he owes Philemon even more. I would imagine that coming to terms with the forgiveness being offered and living the life of a free man could be difficult for Onesimus to grasp. I imagine this to be the case because it is a daily struggle for me. Christ gave up his life that I might be a friend of God. The desire of Jesus was not that we would be called his servants, but that we would be called his friends! I know some of you need to be reminded that you are not living in slavery! Quit trying to earn your reconciliation with God! You cannot repay your debts. Like Onesimus you have nothing to give. When you screw up (and you will), know that there is nothing you can do that is outside the scope of God’s grace! If you have placed your faith in Christ, confess your sins and know that you are forgiven, you are free and Christ calls you friend!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Seeking Input

I have been struggling with reconciling a couple of passages from the Bible and would appreciate some input!

I have been reflecting on the words of Christ who said something along the lines of, "If you cause any of these children to stumble, you would be better off having never been born." And, the words of Paul who said something along the lines of "Whatever is pure, right, noble, etc., think on these things".

At the same time, Jesus made a point to hang out with the most "offensive" people of his day including tax collectors and prostitutes. Certainly his actions 1) caused people to stumble (the Bible tells us as much) and 2) caused Jesus to be confronted with the ugliness of sin and to come face to face with actions that were not pure, not right, not noble, etc.

So, as we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, how are we to live our lives? Should we do all in our power to avoid things that are unpure, not right, and not noble? And, if we do, how are we to reach out to those that are struggling in sin?

If we follow the other path and allow ourselves to be aware of sin and to be in relationship with those struggling with sin how do we do so without causing others to stumble? And, how do we do this without failing to think on things that are pure, right, noble, etc?

Would love your input!