Baby Steps

I woke up Monday morning asking, “Why? Why am I doing what I am doing? Is it making any difference? It’s all just getting monotonous and boring. And, I am really tired. And, again, is any of it really making a difference”. Now, I may have just had a really bad case of “The Mondays” (Office Space reference, anyone?). I may just be really tired. Or, I may just be going through “end of the semester stress/blues” (still happens for me even though I am not in school anymore. It may come from spending so much time with college students).

I just got an email from one of those college students expressing some of the same feelings. I think I am just going through a “season” of the year. I think she is going through a “season” of life (I have been there done that once or twice).

Anyway, my quiet time (and journaling time with the other pastors) was spent in I Kings 19. It’s amazing that this Scripture had been picked for that day over six months ago! This text is about Elijah and it basically starts with Elijah saying, “I have had enough Lord!” God had just done some amazing things through Elijah, a “mountaintop experience”, and now there are people that want to kill him. Elijah is overwhelmed. He is tired. Tired of being brave and courageous and tired of being cowardly and running for his life. I am not sure how seriously to take Elijah’s pleading with God to “take my life”. Is he really ready to die here or is he saying this as a figure of speech like we do sometimes. I am not really sure, all I know is he says this and then lays down for a nap.

Elijah wakes up to an angel “tapping” him and telling him to “get up and eat”. Now, this is kind of funny to me because Elijah wakes up to find a cake of bread sitting next to him. How appropriate that Elijah is depressed and God knows that when we are depressed the thing we need more than anything else is cake! I wonder if Elijah requested some Ben and Jerry’s as well?

Here is the cool thing about Elijah, he does what the angel tells him! He doesn’t complain to the angel (as tired and frustrated as he may be). Instead, he takes a small simple step of obedience. Is Elijah going to save the world with that step of obedience? No. Will that one step save all his problems? No. So, when Elijah is done eating he goes right back to sleep.

Then he is awakened again to an angel telling him, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” Again, Elijah takes that first easy step of obedience and is then strengthened to take the next step of travelling for forty days and forty nights (forty tells us God is probably preparing him for something pretty cool).

Elijah arrives at mount Horeb and there God meets him in a quiet whisper and tells Elijah that he is to begin passing on his ministry to Elisha.

I can’t say that reading this story has made me feel completely refreshed and refocused! In fact, I stared, tired, at my computer for a long time before writing. I have learned a couple of things. First, God is interested in us taking the next small step of obedience. Saving the world is ultimately up to him, I am just glad to play a part in it.

Second, if I don’t take that first small step I may not arrive at the place of refreshment. Nor will I find what God’s purpose or plan is. What if Elijah had just decided to sleep and “live” in his depression asking God “why?” or “what’s the point?” instead of being obedient? It is not always for us to know the big picture. This is why faith, hope and trust are so important.

Third, God’s faithfulness must be our constant (a bit of a Lost reference here). If we are our constant, we will find ourselves emptied and lost at times and have no where to turn. If our constant is our friends we will find them to be as imperfect as we are ourselves. And, if our constant is our circumstances we will find that we can go from those “mountaintop experiences” to the valleys in a matter of days. God’s faithfulness may look bleak at times, but that doesn’t mean it is bleak it just means that we aren’t able to see it as clearly.